Hello, my name is Doctor Chronos -you can call me Albert - and I'm going on a journey, an incredible journey through history. Would you like to come? It's going to be fun … and nasty. When I was a boy, about 200 years ago, I thought history was boring. Then grew up and built this machine. It's a time machine. When I went to see what history was really like I sure got a big surprise. There's all kinds of stuff they don't tell you about in school. Let me show you some of the things we're going to see … We'll be meeting the Putrid Pirates. A nasty bunch of fellows. Running around robbing people and doing lots of nasty things to their enemies - and each other. Then there are the Churlish Chinese. Civilized for thousands of years, but with plenty of gruesome skeletons in their closet … After that we'll drop in on Egotistical Egyptians. Great fellows for building pyramids, but you wouldn't want to be around on pay day - find out why … Next come the Gargantuan Greeks. Famous for their poets, playwrights and philosophers - and also for their long, pointy spears and their gooey habits with animal guts … We'll visit Rancid Romans. A clever lot who won a huge empire and liked nothing better than watching people being eaten by lions on their day off…